Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Data Analysis for Desperate Parents

Obsessive-compulsives beware, but then if you are one you have probably already found the sites described in this article in the The Washington Post that allows you to track and chart everything from your weight to your sex life, and just about everything else in between, and you are nodding "great sites!"

People who have the analytical gene on overdrive (and I include myself in this group) will find it hard to resist tracking their lives in it's minutiae and using the data in an effort to "get it right." As the article describes, through relationship tracking one might be able to ascertain that particular events, or timing of events may lend itself to doom or success in a relationship. Fantastic! Data trumps chaos...or maybe not so fast.

I just knew there had to be some handy tracking software out there for child rearing, especially those especially chaotic first days, and sure enough I found "Babble-Soft."

I can just imagine the following exchange with my toddler son:

J: (Some forcefully delivered toddler ease, completely indistinguishable, but no less pointed, coupled with wild gesticulation)

M: Honey, what's up? Are you hungry? Are you sleepy? Do you have an owie?

J: Wild gesticulation leads to high pitched scream, as he throws out every sign he knows.

Cue...momma cringes and looks wildly for a way to MAKE-IT-STOP

M: Where is that report mommy just ran? Ah yes...sweetie you usually have a boom-boom at around 11am...let's check those pants (as if the odor isn't a clue?)

Fade...momma and baby in complete and peaceful accord over blissfully satisfied mutual needs.

Um, where do I sign up?

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